Friday, April 25, 2008

The Good News Is ...

That it melts with the appropriate measure of moisture, properly administered, though it may take several hours. The bad news is that a Twizzler is somewhere in size between a Tic Tac and a mini Marshmallow. A tic tac on steroids, if you will. See where this is going? She'll probably never leave me alone with her again now! Connie and her mom decided to take a road trip to Nashville to see some rocker from yesteryear, er oops, sorry - they went to see Bon Jovi and left me alone with Lily Grace. One night, surely he can handle that, right. Granny'll come over and help him. Austin will be there if needed. No problem, right?

During the day, Lily had come into possession of a little bag of candy called Twizzlers. Not the sticks like you've seen, but little balls of sour candy larger than a bee bee, but smaller than a marble. Soft candy with lots of sugar and probably the quickest ticket to sugar addiction that I've ever seen. She probably got it from that little street peddler I've seen stalking the neighborhood. The day's intake had stoked her to the point of bouncing off walls and she simply had to have some more. Addicted to Twizzlers in a single day at the ripe old age of three. So after a day of work (and a month of Mondays at work), I had no energy left to do battle with the candy-demanding, sweet baby girl. "Pleeeeeeeseee, Dad (notice the Dad), can I have some more candy. I need it."



Rather than draw a line in the sand, I figured the best thing to do was to reach a compromise. Actually, that was the lazy thing to do, I should have drawn that line and dared her to cross it! So I decided to give her two more Twizzlers. "Two more Lily Grace, that's all. Watch a little bit of Dora while I fix dinner." See all the bad decisions here - candy before dinner, TV as a baby sitter, appeasing the demands, .... She'll probably never leave me alone with her again!

So after dinner, Lily admitted in a quiet moment "I can't get it out Dad." And she was tugging at her nose and sniffling. She'd been sniffling from allergies all afternoon and evening, so I thought she was stuffy. We blew the snout and I thought that'd take care of it. A few minutes later, again "Dad, I can't get it out." What sweet baby girl? "The candy." Where is it? "It's in my nose." "What, Lily, please tell me you didn't put that candy up your nose!" Oops, wrong tone of voice. Waterworks. Fear. I felt terrible. So I calmed down and asked her again. "Yes, I ate one and put the other one in my nose." Why did you do that? "Because I'm scared!" (Me too, I didn't add).

So, we cleared a table for the exploratory, non-intrusive surgery, about to be performed by a newly self-annointed expert at nose problems. Tweezers, flashlight, moist rag, OK, let's move out! After a few short minutes of nose compresses, nose wipes, and flashlight excursions, I had to conclude there was nothing in there. "Lily, are you sure you put the candy in your nose?" "No, sniffle, sniffle, it's in my belly." "Whew, sweet baby girl, we don't put things up our nose, OK?" "OK, daddy (back to daddy)."

Comforted by the success of our medical foray, we prepared for bed, read a story, and turned out the lights. Looks like everything's well that end's well, right? Now, fast forward to mid day Friday. Phone rings at work and it's Granny. "Lily just blew a big pink ball out of her nose!" "Do you know anything about that?" Not a thing, Granny. What'd it look like?

I feel terrible! With my tone of voice and my concern, I scared the poor sweet baby girl into lying to me! So if you have some of those Twizzlers in your house and a toddler around, you might want to get rid of them. Or at least go down to your local clinic and learn how to do exploratory, non-intrusive nose surgery. And the good news is that Lily learned that we don't put things up our nose. In fact, as soon as I arrived home from work today, she announced "We don't put candy up our nose, do we daddy!"

Love,
Jerry, Connie, Austin, Lily Grace (and Lia Faith out there somewhere)
Green, Party of Five

7 comments:

Sherri said...

Hahahahahaha! This is so funny! Why DO kids stick things up their noses?

That's ONE thing none of my 6 kids has tried yet....I probably just cursed it, didn't I?

I'm glad it turned out okay. But it's still a really funny story.

Sherri

The Woodalls said...

Reminds me of the time that William stuck a raisin up his nose during church! (I was there with 3 kids alone because Billy had to work.) Luckily, I had a particularly long pinky nail that did the trick! LOL

Emily

P.S. Hope Connie had a great time at the concert! "Shot through the heart and you're to blame..."

The Ferrill's said...

Bless her heart! Bless YOUR heart! You handled it well, don't worry! And what valuable information about Twizzlers! ;)
That is a hilarious story, thank you for making me laugh!
And I can just imagine Connie at that concert...I love it! Did she bang her head? ;) I have two friends that traveled up from B'ham for it, and they loved it!

Lisa said...

I hope Connie had a GREAT time. I don't understand why kids do that. Ana Claire stuffed a bead up her nose and I rushed her to the pediatrician. I ended up getting it out before the dr saw her. Thank goodness for escaping that drama.........and ok, I confess when I was little I stuck a dry bean up my nose.
Thanks for the story. You really should write a book. You have such a way with words. ;)

Sonya said...

OH MY! Do I dare tell Katie Lin...she might want to try it too!!! if I don't tell her she might try it anyway!!!
This parenting thing is so hard!
Glad it came out!!

Bet Connie had a blast at the concert! GO 80'S!!!!

How was kite day? Ben's baseball game was the game that never ended! It was almost 1:00 PM when we got home (started at 10:00) so no way to make it to Athens! I was bummed!

The Smith's said...

I remember when my God daughter put an almond up her nose. When her mommy couldn't see Megan told her that she didn't put it up there. To be safe she took her to the Dr. and low and behold there was a small piece of an almond up there.

It was the point of Christie getting freaked out and making a big deal about it that made her change her story and to tell her momma that she hadn't done it.

Children do the darndest things!

Becky

Phil and Jennifer said...

It's fun to hear how Lily and Lily Grace are so alike. Next time you are in B'ham, we need to get them together! My Lily recently rolled up a piece of paper and stuck it up her nose. I made sure that it wasn't a comfortable experience as I dug it out with my doctor tools. I told her not to do it again. Within the hour, she had stuck the same thing up Katie's nose! I can't believe Kate let her. Argh!
I love seeing Lily Grace and Austin's sweet relationship. You can tell he is a joy to all of you.
Jennifer (mom to Lily and Kate)